Birds went mad

jack & will

2006-07-09T08:07:31Z

think possibility not plausibility.

and you were impressed when i could cook

2006-06-02T06:47:09Z

today: rouna and i went to san francisco- rented bikes at the wharf- and rode to Sausalito. up and over the golden gate. it was fantastic.

or:

zip zap zip. crash and burn but only three times . give me some credit this was a first. rouna and i rented bikes in san francisco at the wharf. we were crying before we even hit the street corner, but we always cry when we laugh. maybe that's why everyone confuses us for each other. anyway after we passed the crowded populated streets with everyone looking up and out as out of towners often do, we were finally free sailing on the coast of paved cement. that is till a wave came and the paved cement started going uP and Up and UP. then we totally lost it and we were no longer the only ones laughing at ourselves. we went from yachts to hill top redwoods near the presidio to a couple tours of the park and back down to more yachts. we stared at bay view houses and picked out ones we thought could suit our needs. so easy to make believe. we saw the palace of fine art and i pretended to see it for the first time. we explored the exploritorium or at least the surrounding area, and moved up and onward. not sure what kept us moving, it wasn't the comfort of the seat that's for sure, but perhaps it was the possibility of a story. or the physical unrest to marry our mental analysis. or the accents in the "hello's" that came from everyone as we passed. whatever it was, it pushed us far enough where we couldn't look back. oh, Life you're so funny in your visual metaphors. so there we were, facing the direct assent to the elevated crux of barrier made manifest. and since God didn't part the sea for us that day, we took the high road and crossed the man-made hard as steal [is] Golden-misnomer-Gate Bridge. of course i had to notice the crisis counseling hotline phone, and wondered if God was on the other line-- Hello God? This is Lyndsay. busy signal. so we kept going. had to cross the freeway and nearly had a panic attack as i cursed like a sailor at the cars who were out to prove that their machines were faster than our legs, two tires, and a chain. i had to walk the bike down the three mile dissent into Sausalito, stupid fear of falling under cars and becoming like bug juice. Sausalito should change it's name to Charming, period. we missed the ferry, caught the next one that dropped us off at the wrong pier and speed raced down the streets to cross the finish line into the bike rental pit stop as they were locking up the doors and calling it a day. champions!

so it wasn't cyprus nor amsterdam, but it wasn't sacramento either. success.

american girl in italy

2006-05-30T05:55:47Z

Miss Tree,
a mover and a shaker; doing the two step better than the rest of us in counts of three. you are predictable in all your ways-- not in that bad sense that that phrase can be interpreted, but in that 'i never had any doubts in you' sense. you said, you did, you said, and you did again. that fine line of tip toe wire crossing, flame throwing, fire eating, ho-hum, drink some ~~wine~~ vino, and paint a pretty picture all on your own in the middle of the afternoon; is just how you've always been framed. without much detail here, ill just say that i'll miss your heart in california, but know that it is busy doing beautiful (every/ no)things in italy. and when you go to greece on holiday, i know a guy you can look up-
he taught me how to breath under water.

LOVEYOU

cook books are the friday night text book

2006-04-01T07:19:57Z

i bake now too! from scratch! wheat free, dairy free, free!

when did i get what i want become so honky tonk

2006-03-31T04:26:43Z

remember in high school, when we pinky swore never to let each other be homeless, or maybe i just made you all pinky swear never to let me be homeless, well i have a full time job now. this in addition to my full time job as a senior in college. i now come equipped with business cards and benefits, stock options and 401k plans. i still don't make enough to live on my own, but i think all these grown up things must mean something, which makes me think i can house all of you if you are ever homeless. a house out of business cards.

lover you

2006-03-11T09:23:42Z

i cant say that i can say that im not not happy.

top of the van is now the back of the van

2005-11-03T06:09:33Z

hosting a "my life is over" party! come over if you cost your work thousands of dollars today too!

you suppose so well!

2005-10-24T06:58:01Z

Sapphire91: i once had a dream about michel foucault and sea horses, no seriously.

Auto response from CutToCommercial: i >3 foucault.

drive thru

2005-10-06T05:28:48Z

i went and done did it. did turn myself twenty one, all on my very own--

who does that- who turns twenty one? it seemed as if it was something that afflicts everyone else, but certainly.. certainly.. not i. but there i did find myself, going head to head with time. it, as it always does, won. and as i sit here, approaching almost a full month of being twenty one [in 7 days] i think, was it worth it? not as if i had much choice in the matter it was coming whether i liked it or not. three[+] times i havnt been carded and i say confusingly to myself, AM. I. ALREADY. AT. THAT. AGE. i feel like high school again. i dont mesh with this halter top streaked hair bar scene that kristen tried to introduce me to [no fault of her own], we only had the chanced blessing of avoiding three girls we went to high school with. makes me want a boyfriend back. curl up and hide out till it's all over with. grass is greener [and brighter and shinier and new] on the other side. i want my low-table-low-lighting-mixed-drinks-jazz-listening-dress-from-Nice-wearing nights. where are you?! oh right, i work too much. well i took three days off from work this week and where did it find me? in reno, at a chapel. at a few chapels actually. i turned twenty one and got myself hitched, proper and all. to my camera. to my work. can you handle it? can anyone? i'm going to show that love is love is love, whether elvis is there or not. whether your dress is rented or not. whether your ring turns your finger green or not. but will love find this girl that is pained with being twenty one and married to the three cameras mounted on her side? look for my personal ad in the next issue of reno news and review. here's to being twenty one, to loving the chase, and to hating* the prize.

*hating is to not be confused with wanting.

and he talks when he laughs!

2005-08-30T02:00:14Z

i had dinner with bob dylan's drug dealer's grandson last night.

heidelberg brewed beards; and i know thank you in five languages

2005-08-04T05:02:30Z

look at me go. i am un stopstopstopstopstopstopstopable, here and abroad. by now you know i am home from my three week rendezvous in that great land of efficient public transportation [that is of course when it's not being bombed]. europe i say, your up!

nomadic split splat, i am Miss Ecstatic. "haha" i laugh so hard, i have no clue what you are saying to me, it's so... foreign? oh i love you! your words that sound like coughs keep me coming back for more, i've caught the bug that you've kept as your own for so long. mine now [minenow]. i laid in twenty one different beds, telling me twenty one new things, twenty one minutes a night, along side the other twenty one beds in the twenty one rooms i shared with twenty one other people. we kissed like mad men in sunday wear, keeping mad secrets from friends and family- hysterical in our fits of freedom. our little secret, our little secretss, this little hole in the wall, this little moment right here: the one where we cleverly figure out how to shave our legs in two feet of space, the one where we makeshift a clothes line and pretend the humidity isnt there, the one about how to get your hostel at an even cheaper price, the one about the italian concierges, and the german theologians. lets not forget about our secret cave and the secret castle to sleep in when price of sleep costs a pretty penny that we dont have [thank you food, water, tariffed toilets, and bus fare you taught us well] all our little secrets known and unbeknown to us, i cant share them out loud, does a deed unjustified when our foreign voices speak of foreign affairs and foreign policy. bush speaking californian/speaking worldly words. do you get it? i am jazzed. i am amsterdam, germany, switzerland, italy, monaco, and france. i am perpetually reliving my twentieth summer for as long as time allows, or until time repeats itself-- as it so often does, [give it time], history always repeats.

i miss miss tree

2005-05-07T07:17:44Z

i'm just going to say it. no clever figure me out lines, just plain and simple to the point. ready? here it is:

i have a plane ticket to amsterdam that leaves in mid june and won't take me back home till a long time after.

it's not this, 'oh im planning on going to europe' deal, it's:

i have a plane ticket, purchased, and time off work.

there's amsterdam, france, switzerland, italy and germany to see. staying in dirt cheap hostels, taking a box of power bars or something to the equivalent, and one bag [ok maybe two; across my shoulder] = both hands free to catch buses and hit off any suspecting gypsy children in rome.

we, miss beccanacious and i, are going to pack our bags one week in advance and take something out every day till go time. we are going to practice walking bags on back to and from raley's, per her fathers recommendation.

that's the plan, man.
true!true!true!true!

today i saw gabby's band play,
FAAAAAAAAAAANTASSSSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTIC.

p.s. i'm going to europe!!

i am saying it so loud, dont you see it in my teeth

2005-04-21T01:42:00Z

I AM DEATHLY OBSCURE!!!!!!!!1

HELP! HELP! HELP!

leave the gun- take the cannollis.

2005-03-28T06:24:46Z

the godfather trilogy on dvd in my easter basket next to pink peeps;

would you be proud, mr. cocteau?

2005-03-17T06:32:09Z

lyndsay we'll miss you, says the chocolate gourmet cake from the health food store. but we've replaced you with nicole richie, [so i see as i stare at twelve plus inches of bleach and a neck balancing two chandelier's- your ring's so pretty, it's fake you say (aah im surprised aaah)]. you served us so well for three whole years, from a teen of seven plus ten, to the teen-less tag of twenty-- read the card we wrote you, we hope now that you are down to one job youll finally have time to read 'atlas shrugged'.. oh stop it, you! your sentimental attitudes are not very becoming and there are sixteen mirrors too many around here to remind us of this. the horror!the horror!

as you can see, today was my last day at the salon where every tuesday thursday and every other saturday i devoted countless hours to the beautification of sacramento, one tinfoil hi-lite at a time, for three years.
one job down, one promotion [in promotions] up, school still beating me down [professor and otherwise].

i'll miss easy breezy beautiful 56th street, the phrase 'may i help you', and working two jobs with the schedule of three.

AH HA.

2005-01-31T08:50:41Z

mixed up tricked bag! i am taking fifteen units too many and working two jobs too much with an internship hanging over my head as the pa not to be confused with future set up of dp for a mr jw that would sound familiar to you if you only liked george clooney and brad pitt, simultaneously as i dont. i hope you got that, letters cant be much clearer than numbers. so to fill your brim full, abundancy is too less of a word to use. i am: past the borders of delusions of grandeur proven only to be a positively affirming realistic future, in my dreams. which is of course where i maximize my most precious of no time ever. god i love the use of contradictions to explain my every waking moment in the cleanest cut of forms possible!

i bought the most fantastic twelve dollar taco's up the street from the beach, yes i'm still talking about those taco's.

times three

2004-12-25T21:40:48Z

Cheers!

and then i said

2004-11-06T09:04:06Z

mankind? manMEAN!

gone baby gone

2004-11-03T06:47:47Z

i'm starting a secret society

details to come

totally

2004-09-13T03:29:25Z

oh dear twenty, how ive missed you since before i knew you. today you are a day old. today you felt the aches and bruises from a welcoming party last night. you fit me nicely, twenty. not as nice as i can assume twenty one to feel, but nevertheless you do not come with a teen tag. you are howerever, a tease. for this reason alone i think we will get along splendidly. i will live you up, i will take you out, and i will leave you thoroughly worn through. twenty, you can expect great things from me.

nineteen in apparent retrospect was a year of waiting. it was the finale for many decadent misnomers, some i miss, some not so much. i dont think this is even what i mean to say, but it sounds nice, nice and obscure. so i leave you, with assumptions. go! make many of them!

but no, really. the facts are as follows: jobs dont have to suck! professors arnt all angry failed professionals! your parents do love you! your friends are fleeting and your better friends- you made without trying! i may live with crack dealing neighbors, but hardwood floors are pretty!

gosh darn-it, i just love you ok

mysomaholiday @ 2004-09-06T15:28:00

2004-09-06T23:38:39Z

Mr. Smith: But how does it happen that the doctor pulled through while Parker died?
Mrs. Smith: Because the operation was successful in the doctor's case and it was not in Parker's.
Mr. Smith: Then mackenzie is not a good doctor. The operation should have succeeded with both of them or else both should have died.
Mrs. Smith: Why?
Mr. Smith A conscientious doctor must die with his patient if they can't get well together. The captain of a ship goes down with his ship into the briny deep, he does not survive alone.
Mrs. Smith: One cannot compare a patient with a ship.
Mr. Smith: Why not? A ship has its diseases too; moreover, your doctor is as hale as a ship; that's why he should have perished at the same time as his patient, like the captain and his ship.
Mrs. Smith: Ah! I hadn't thought of that... Perhaps it is true... And then, what conclusion do you draw from this?
Mr. Smith: All doctors are quacks. And all patients too. Only the Royal Navy is honest in England.
Mrs. Smith: But not sailors.
Mr. Smith: Naturally. [A pause. Still reading his paper:] Here's a thing I don't understand. In the newspaper they always give the age of the deceased persons but never the age of the newly born. That dosn't make sense.
-The Bald Soprano

today is cool. the air conditioner is on and i slept in my jeans last night. i wish i had hardwood floors with original light fixtures and doorknobs. i'd even pay $256 a month for it. if i did, i'd also have a baseball bat under my bed.

Life is a grotesque practical joke constantly pulling away chairs from under man's dignity and reason. Nothing is sane; reality is a hall of distorting mirrors reflecting the grimness of our own pretensions - Ionesco.

jess is boy/girl wonder

2004-08-17T08:23:35Z

Dear Lyndsay,
You are invited to a Murder Mystery Party at the home of Jessica Maxfield on Monday August 16th at ~~7:15pm~~ 8:00pm, to investigate the death of Glam Rock icon and lead singer of the band Lipstick Traces, Aladdin Sane. A glamorous Vegan dinner will be served. Please arrive on time and in character. What information I don’t give you now, will be given to you upon arrival.

You are Miss Peculiar. You have made a living for the past 4 years being a part of a freak show in Lipstick Traces. You have done some crazy things in the past and will stop at nothing to impress, estrange, and enthrall your audience. The press have always hounded you, wanting to know “the real you”, but they have never found any dirt on the girl (or are you a boy? your sex has always been very ambiguous) who once made out with a random audience member on stage for the entire show, and did a crazy dance onstage with a live snake. Yes, you are quite crazy and messed up (even by Glam standards). Being in this band has made you lose your grip on reality. You have no social skills anymore, no boyfriend/girlfriend and despite the fact that you have gone with a number of groupies (both male and female) you are a virgin.

Talk: in an obviously fake French accent, you can switch to an English accent throughout the night if you wish.
Act: anti-social, aggressive, strange

you rock... softly, of course.

2004-08-01T07:09:33Z

how come you dropped off the face of the earth??????????????????

well you see, i am working so much. this however does not mean that i am doing something when you ask me whats new. it just means i am occupying time with work, where i make money that i put into two different bank accounts. the money stays there except for on my-one-day-off-Monday where maybe i buy i pair of $6 shoes or a $3 sweater with a snag in the front. it bothers me not in the least. sometimes on special occasions, if the evening calls for it, i will drive to random points of california interest. like auburn. there is nothing for me to do in auburn at ten o'lock at night, but the big giant statue of the man panning for gold, speaks to me. i will make the slightest effort to put forth the little energy i have left at the end of the day to gather around a table that might be described as wood, or round, depending on who you ask, and talk about 'whats new' with friends gone by. this means i talk about work. at times there are things i rather partake in then slumber, this week it was !!! and deerhoof in sf. conclusively, it reminded me that i wanted to join Jazzercise this summer. to which i have not made any effort to do. i have only read three books in three months, equally i have dressed up in 1950s attire three times this month and stood in front of three different car dealerships. i have requested one day off so that might go to columbia and visit my forty year old brother and his too good to be true perfect family. oh to be reminded that i am getting old. nineteen, i forget that i am nineteen. slow the fuck down i say. i have to rush rush rush before everyone dies, and i mean this literally. the people i need are old with wives kept in air conditioned houses in florida while their girlfriends sit in delectable luxury in hollywood condos. my dad says to me this morning, drink this porteinblahblahblahshake. i say i get plenty of protein. he says, there isnt any protein in rootbeer. i say, there isnt any protein in manhattans. he says, my years are up. i say, lucky bastard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

obviously doctor youve never been a thirteen year old girl

2004-06-27T05:25:48Z

the internet gives new meaning to british expressions

2004-04-29T06:39:41Z

basically,

perfectionism is the antithesis of art.

and

to not be content is to be content and to be content is to not be content and so forth and so forth. [i say, see eugene ionesco circa 1950] he too will be a namesake if i ever push love out between my legs.

basically.